All Dogs go to Atlantis
by Kurisuti
Summary: You’d think somewhere along the way everyone would learn not to play with strange ancient technology. Major Sheppard does so anyway and ends up with a rather fluffy problem.
1. Is That Welsh?

Title: Is That Welsh?

Author: Sparky

Betas: Unless you count fish, none…so you can probably tell.

Warnings: Insane fluffiness! Literally!

Sequel to: none

Series: All Dogs go to Atlantis

Summary: You'd think somewhere along the way everyone would learn not to play with strange ancient technology. Major Sheppard does so anyway and ends up with a rather fluffy problem.

A/N: First fic in the SG: Atlantis universe. Well, SG period. It just hit me one day at work, when thinking what would happen if people were changed into dogs. What would they be? For some reason, Rodney just screamed Corgi.

"**Is That Welsh?"**

Elizabeth Weir stared at the bundle of tan and brown fur that Major Sheppard now bore in his arms. Her mouth opened and closed a few time before she found her voice once more.

"You mean to tell me that," she pointed at the creature. "That's Rodney?"

Major John Sheppard attempted a faint grin and sighed a bit heavily, "Yup."

Dr. Weir rubbed her temples and echoed his own sigh, "Okay Major, one more time, what happened down there?"

The Welsh Corgi wiggled around in Sheppard's grasp and growled in agitation. John was frowning as he tried to keep it from struggling so much.

"Maybe you should him down," Weir tentatively suggested.

"He'll run off if I do–OW!" Sheppard swore, grabbing his hand and dropping the corgi. "He bit me!"

The dog, rather, Rodney shook his whole body and looked up at John. By the way he was glaring at the Major, Weir held little doubt that this was the scientist.

John glared back Rodney while nursing his hand, "Its like I said, we were down in the north sector, checking out yet another research lab. There were a handful of little devices in there and Dr. McKay decided to have me try out one." His glare remained steady on the dog, "See McKay, where using me can go wrong?"

Rodney huffed in reply, sitting down before Weir's desk.

She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "Okay, Major? Lets go have a look at this lab."

The two glanced at the corgi although John's look was still along the lines of a glare, "I'm so not carrying you anymore."

The small dog cocked his head and was back on his feet again. Weir and Sheppard found themselves hurrying to catch up with him as he trudged off down the hall. Said leader of Atlantis wondered momentarily if Rodney would make it on those short little legs – but was surprised to find that he seemed to make better time this way. Of course, it could be the fact that he was trapped in the body of a dog and wasn't too thrilled with the prospect of it, that was speeding him along.

They arrived at the lab without too much hassle, although there were several odd looks as a Welsh Corgi went trotting past, followed by two top officials. There weren't any questions though, which was just as well, since Weir really didn't have an answer for them.

"Alright, Major?" She was looking at the assortment before her, "Which one was it?"

His face was calm as he looked over them, "It was like a remote…"

Weir raised an eyebrow, "You don't know which one your were playing with?"

"I wasn't playing with it." It was an automatic denial, which made Weir believe that the Major had indeed, been playing.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Rodney barked at them. The sound was something she hadn't heard in a long time. A reminder of what they had left behind, on Earth. Back to reality though, no trips down memory lane right now. Weir crouched down in front of the corgi and saw that he had something in his mouth. Taking the device she stood and faced Sheppard.

"Is this it?" She asked and John grimaced as he took the slobber-soaked remote.

"Yeah, that's it…" The next several moments were spent with John staring at the device. He finally frowned and shrugged. "I don't think its mind activated." A glance at Rodney, "I'm gonna have to mash a couple of these buttons and see if they do anything."

Rodney's whine was so pathetic that Weir had to restrain herself from swooping him up and hugging him. Memories of her dog back home welled up in her mind and she had to squelch that too.

"Try to remember what button you pushed. Did you do some kind of combination?" The Major shrugged. "Well, give a few tries. But," she eyed the Major, "if we don't have any luck then, we're taking that thing back to the others to see if we find something out."

Sheppard didn't need further encouragement as he began trying various combinations on the remote, which only have maybe 15 different buttons. Couldn't be that many combinations. Weir looked over at the other devices lying across the broad table. The more she looked at them, the more they looked like simple toys. Was this some kind of toyshop or something? She was about to reach out and pick one up when she heard a clattering sound.

"Major…" Weir turned and her eyes were wide in surprise at what was, ironically, Sheppard. A German Sheppard. The moment was too much to resist, "I didn't know you were of German background, Major."

The large dog gave her a very John look of 'I know you aren't laughing at me.' Weir was sure that Rodney's little bark/growls were a sign of laughter. She picked up the remote and sighed.

"Alright boys, lets get back up to the gate room and see if we can't find Dr. Zelenka."


	2. Could Be German

Title: Could be German 2?

Author: Sparky

Betas: Unless you count fish, none…so you can probably tell.

Warnings: Insane fluffiness! Literally!

Sequel to: Is That Welsh?

Series: All Dogs go to Atlantis

Summary: You'd think somewhere along the way everyone would learn not to play with strange ancient technology. Major Sheppard does so anyway and ends up with a rather fluffy problem.

"Could Be German…" 

The three made it to the gate room in record time. Ford arrived shortly after with Carson and Peter, all of who came to a halt to stare at the canines. Weir sighed and practically shoved the remote into Dr. Zelenka's hands.

"Here," she glanced back to John and Rodney. "Its some kind of ancient device and –"

"Why are there dogs here?" Dr. Beckett inquired.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, "If you would let me finish, Doctor, I will explain." And then more to herself, "As best I can."

Both dogs were sniffing around the room although they also seemed to be keeping a close eye on their human comrades.

"Apparently Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay were investigating one of the recently found labs. There were several different devices there, including the one you're holding Dr. Zelenka." Her eyes wondered from the dogs to the humans and back again. "Unfortunately it seems that said device has the ability to…transform someone into another creature. In this situation, dogs."

A brief silence followed, before Ford, with quite the perplexed look, spoke up. If the situation had been slightly less serious. Weir would have been amused.

"Where's the Major?"

The woman looked the German Sheppard and whistled. Ears erect and tail wagging, the Sheppard (again, no pun intended) trotted back to Weir's side. "Lt. Ford, Major Sheppard is right here."

The silence was much longer and Weir finally broke it as the Corgi leaned against her leg, "And Doctor McKay is here too."

Elizabeth Weir had never someone move quite as quickly as Dr. Zelenka, as he placed the device on a nearby table. "No offense, but its not something I'm going to be eager to work on."

Weir crossed her arms and glared. "I can understand your reluctance to take part in this, but we need John and Rodney back!"

They all jumped as both dogs barked in agreement.

Carson studied the canines for a moment, "I can understand why you have Dr. Zelenka here, but why me?"

Weir absently brushed aside a strand of hair as she replied, "What I need to know Carson, is if this is going to have any affect on their minds. I'm not surprised if they pick up a few dog traits, but will this have any permanent damage?"

John was back to sniffing around the room and the four of them kept an eye on him, making sure he didn't become 'territorial.'

"It's hard to say, Elizabeth," replied Becket. "Maybe, once we know more about the device, I can give you a better answer." He shrugged absently, "I just need more information."

She was about to reply when she had to reroute her voice to, "Sheppard!"

The Sheppard was about to raise his leg on one of the tables. He stopped mid-motion, whined and reluctantly lowered the leg. Weir gave a heavy sigh and rubbed her face in defeat.

"Get a team together to work on this. The lab is in the north sector and there were several other devices there. See if the system there has any information on this remote," Weir directed and then quickly added, "But don't push any of those buttons unless you're sure you know what your doing. We can't risk losing another one of our – Rodney! Quit!"

The squat dog was chewing a rather thick cord but stopped at the sound of his name. His head was cocked to the side in an obvious "What?" look.

Weir narrowed her eyes, "Don't push it Rodney, I'm sure we can make some kind of leash for the both of you."

The rest of the day held similar scenarios, as both John and Rodney had to be under constant supervision, for the countless times they had dog moments. Teyla was fascinated with them and ended up becoming the dog sitter while Weir and the scientists examined the lab and the devices there. It was late in the evening when Elizabeth stepped in on Teyla to check on them. The Athosian was asleep at a desk, clearly worn out by the excitement that was Rodney and John.

Speaking of which, Weir gave a quick look around to see them curled up on the floor next to each other. Her smile was brief and she left the room without a word, not wanting to disturb any of them. By the time she had returned to the lab, though, both canines were trailing closely behind her. So much for keeping them out of the way.

But they did stay out of the way as she crossed the room to pry the remote from a sleeping Zelenka's hand. They had determined that it was actually some kind of toy, but only through some tedious translations of the files they found. If Weir didn't know any better, she would have thought half these things were torture devices. Yet, while the information they found depicted what the device did, there didn't seem to be any reason behind it or, more importantly, how to reverse it.

Dr. Weir studied the ancient toy for a moment before placing it back on the desk. Before she could react with more then a panicked "No!", the device slipped from her hands and scattering across the floor. In a flash, Sheppard leapt after it, tail wagging with unbelievable energy. Rodney began barking, his entire body shaking with energy at this new 'game.' The Sheppard dog lunged forward and grabbed the device in his strong jaws.

Zelenka jerked awake as Weir shouted after the dog, "Major! Bring that back here now!"

With ears perked forward and tail still wagging with a life of its own, John trotted back over to Weir. Yet as she reach to take the remote from him, his ears turned back and he began to growl. The woman had had enough at this point and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Alright, Major." Her eyes were at the 'shooting daggers' stage. "I don't want to hear another complaint. Give me that device or, so help me God, I will have you neutered."

Sheppard practically threw it at her and Weir struggled for a moment so not to drop it again. With the remote safe once more in her hands, she turned back towards a dazed Zelenka, who was staring at Rodney. Elizabeth stared too, as a very confused but very human Rodney stared back.

"Rodney," she struggled to speak for a moment, "You're back…human again…"

The scientist frowned and looked down at himself, his hands prodding his own body. A grin began to spread across his face and looked back up at Weir, "Yeah…" More prodding, "I am, aren't I?" A grin spread across his face and his excitement was clear.

Weir could also see Rodney's mind racing for some kind of answer as his eyes darted around the room. She glanced at the device still in her hand and barely hid her disgust at the drool covering it. But then she became thoughtful.

"I wonder…" Her gaze moved back over to Sheppard, as did Rodney's.

At which point Rodney made an exasperated noise and shook his head, "Honestly Major, do you have no shame?"

The German Sheppard looked up from his crotch licking and cocked his head at Rodney who, in return, sighed wearily and turned back to Dr. Zelenka and Weir. "John probably hit some kind of combination on that device when he went after it. Here, let me see it…"

Elizabeth handed him the remote and crossed her arms as the scientist looked it over. He shot the Major a dark look as he tried to wipe some of the slobber off. Mostly though, his eyes remained steady on the device as he began to fire off questions.

"Was there anything in the system about this?"

A more awake Zelenka replied, "No, there was nothing there to explain what this or any of those other devices are. What little information we could find seemed to suggest that they were meant to be toys…"

Rodney stopped his inspection of the remote and stared at Zelenka. "Who in their right mind would let kids play with these things?" He rolled his eyes and focused back on the technology in his hands.

"It was also indicated that they were incomplete," Zelenka's eyebrows were furrowed up in concern.

Rodney waved the remote in the air this time as he spoke, "If it was incomplete then why was it able to change me back?" He shook his head, "For that matter, why would it have worked in the first place?"

Weir tried not to show her nervousness as the device was waved around quite recklessly (in her opinion anyway). "Rodney, can we get Major Sheppard back?"

His arms stopped moving and he looked between her and the German Sheppard – who was now curled up at their feet, seemingly ignoring the fact the conversation was about him.

"Of course we can," he assured her. "If I can be changed back, then so can he. It's just…figuring out the right combination…" He was frowning again, at the now-dry device, "If I remember correctly, which is pretty much always the case, I think the Major was using these three buttons here…"

"Rodney…" There was a panicked warning in Weir's voice.

"No, no, its alright Elizabeth," he reassured her. "Even if this isn't the right combination we can just try again."

"But what if you turn one of us into a dog?" While dogs had their cute and cuddly moments, it had never been her desire to be one.

"Nonsense! It'll be fine," Dr. McKay pushed the buttons down and watched the German Sheppard. The Major watched him in return and slowly wagged his tail. "Okay, so that wasn't it." He looked back at Weir, "Crap."

The Shar Pei staring back at him looked like she couldn't agree more.


End file.
